Today I proclaim that there is only one officiall haircut, ONE. This is a joy for you all and I have personally seen to it that all hairstylists in this glorious country can do it, ALL HAIRSTYLISTS! America has theeeee best hairstylists, it´s true, very true, and it is the BEST haircut, it´s true. All my wives tell me my hair is so nice, really, really nice. And not fake, not fake at all. It is a real HAIRcut, all my hair. Not combed from my neck over my forehead. That´s a lie. A LIE.
I strongly encourage people to wear my hairstyle or….I might have to put them in jail, alongside Mrs Clinton. Women however may wear their hair as long and curly as they like, similar to my lovely wifes. Long enough that it can be pulled if a man must pull hair. And sometimes men MUST do that, we must it´s true. We need to controooool the women, especially their wombs. This especially. I will think about that for an hour or a minute….womblaws…. yes I like it….. Womens wombs are a mans concern. Wombcontrol law! A good law, the best! So thinks the pope, he got it from me.
I tell you, I AM divine, it´s true and therefore I call the new haircut: The divine haircut, the Trumput. Or maybe Trumpcut? I will call Kim J and ask about this…he knows. So, happy to finally be president. I have such great ideas for you, the best, truly the best ideas. No one has ever had such good ideas, never ever, it´s true. No one could have thought about all things I think about every day, no one. Not even Hitler or Stalin!
That´s all folks, tomorrow, new stuff. I have so much to do, very busy and the day has only 24h and a year only 365 days…so little time to think up new very good things, to make America grrrrreat again!
My buddys haircut